~Maha & Poetry~

Cahaya Pantai

2011-01-10T04:02:00.000+08:00

ibadahku bak bintang
malap di malam gelap
bertaburan di langit
berkelip di tengah malam

dosaku bak pasir pantai
sejauh mata memandang
terbangan ditiup angin
berenang ditelan ombak

tuhanku ku mohon
perlambatkan subuhMu
izinku tambah bintangku
terangi malam hariku

tuhanku ku pinta
sucikan pasirku
jadikannya mutiara
perhiasan akhiratku

-Maha El Zawawi, 2011

Doa

2010-12-30T10:00:00.000+08:00

Ya Rabb,

i think i am a hypocrite,
i worth as good as coal,
i dare say i'm a sinner,
with all my heart and soul,
i lie, i cheat and i steal,
from sand to bars of gold,
But Ya Rabb please believe me,
i'm trying as much as i could.

Ya Rabb,
i'm very much aware,
of the power that You hold,
i pray that You'll forgive me,
before i get too old,
i've done all but yet to kill,
my inner selfish ghoul,
So Ya Rabb please forgive me,
my sin as a mortal, flesh and soul.

When things are better from afar

2010-11-23T21:37:00.000+08:00

When I was young I used to like everything that was free
The air, the space, the playing-ground, the originality

We all made friends so easily, all we need was a little bravery
We like and hate each other but there was no hypocrisy

We all can’t wait to grow up tall and wear the high heeled shoes
The boys had other things in mind but they want to grow up too

The teachers told us what to do and say we can all do it
“The chances are right in front of you, the sky is your limit”

Day after day we go to school and learn about the stars
The shining stars, the Superstar and then there were also Rockstars

So now I am taller, the sky seems closer, I think of my yesterdays
Like the moons and the stars and the meteorites
Some things are better in Space

The cries of a young beggar

2010-11-23T21:32:00.001+08:00

As I scream as I shout
Can you hear me out?
Must I speak your language?
For you to safe this “savage”

Help me! Help me!
I may not say it
But if I do say it
Would you listen to it?

All you hear is “Help Me!”
What I mean is “Save Me!”
Look into my eyes
You’ll see through the lies

I was once a prince
Or as happy and free
How this came to be
I still could not believe

I have seen dogs
Living better than me
I have seen lizards
Wearing jewelries

Among all these ludicrousy,
I still couldn’t fathom
How a human like me;
Be treated like a phantom

Safe your pity
That’s no good for me
I don’t need to be reminded
How sorry I feel

Hearing me beg “please”
For something not for me
Sounds awkward and weird
Especially for me

So unless you plan
To practice all you preach
Just give me a dime
And keep your sympathy

The Point

2010-11-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

What’s the point of globalization,
when all must follow ONE race?

What’s the point of education,
when everyone becomes more stupid?

What’s the point of lighting a candle,
when you don’t know why you do it?

What’s the point of being in the know,
when you do nothing about it?

What’s the point of giving rights,
when we are set to abuse it?

What’s the point of voting elections,
when you don’t see the worth it?

What’s the point of “fighting for peace”
when we only see more killing?

What’s the point of being humans,
when we act nothing like it?

Your Point

2010-11-23T21:23:00.000+08:00

Remember Me, Remember Me

2010-11-23T09:30:00.000+08:00

Those grains of rice you left on your plate
The half eaten bread, the leftover cakes

The wonderful food models puke away
The feast of the food you let waste away

The tasty looking pies you slap on the face
Could feed three of us for days and for days

It’s not that you need to starve like me
Just remember me when you waste your meat

Cook just as much as you need
Take only the ones you will eat
Remember me, remember me,
Then maybe one day food comes to me

My name is Special

2010-11-23T09:27:00.000+08:00

Hello you there, how do you do?
My name is Special, how about you?
Don’t stare at me like that, you’d hate it too.
I have down-syndrome, but I’m not a cuckoo

I don’t need your pity I don’t need your change
It’s time that you realize your views need to change
I don’t wish to be like you I am happy as I am
Swimming free in my own wonderland

I want to grow in my very own place
To learn and to know at my very own pace
You’re not like me as I’m not like you
I’ve no expectation to be just like you

The day you realize we’re not the same
I’ve started my very own personal game
To reach to the end contented and sane
With no additional scars and within my own lane

I’m happier than you and luckier than you
I don’t have to fit in any prints of blue
Instead of changing me to be someone like you
Learn to accept and treat me as one of you

All I need to know is I’m not a cat
And I can’t fly so high unless on a jet
Be kind to all people; be them girls or them boys
Be a good person and care for my toys

My mom said I’m human but not like the rest
I can’t be a doctor and I can’t be a vet
But I could be happy if I choose to be
And I could be lovely as long as I’m me

Blink, Just Once

2010-11-22T21:25:00.000+08:00

I could be your Ma
Waiting for your return
Praying for your safety
Forgiving your bad deeds
Blink, just once-I could be your Ma

I could be your Pa
The one who brought you up
Made your fantasies give up
Told you what life is all about
Blink, just once-I could be your Pa

I could be your Sister,
The girl you worry about
With love unconditioned
One you love, hate yet somehow trust
Blink, just once – I could be your sister

I could be your brother
The one you risk to protect
Who knows just what to say
Or believes you’re the best
Blink, just once – I could be your brother

I could be your friend,
The one you share your childhood with
Or one you met in college
The BFF till the end of time
Blink, just once – I could be your friend

Or I could be the one you call the one
The love of your life, the mate to your soul
Be right by your side till the day we grow old
Blink, just once – I could be your life

So blink, just onceBefore you hurt me,
Before you kill me,
Before you finish me off
For I could be your you, your he, your her,
As I am a him, a her, a you to someone else.

_____________________________________________

I wrote this when i saw a photo of a soldier who was pointing a rifle to a woman's head at point blank range.

in-sane

2010-10-07T18:36:00.001+08:00

Who are you calling dear?

am i the person you're talking to?

i don't see no one else in this room

who are you calling darling

am i the one you're showering kisses to?

for there's no one else here but me

stop in your tracks

have you gone mad

you think i still love you?

after all that you said?

who was the one who stood by you?

kept all of her words,

loved no one but you

i don't see no one else in this room

who was the person you

build all her dreams

then left her crying

for there's no one else here hurt but me

stop in your tracks

have you gone mad

how could i still love you

after all that you said

i cried till i could cry no more

i hurt till i could feel no more

i can never see you the same

after you treat our love just like a game

stop in your tracks

have you gone mad

you think i still love you?

after all that you said?

---------

you say i've changed

but you said you love me yesterday

2 moons have passed

why did you wait to tell me today

Don't Promise Me a Heart

2010-10-07T18:23:00.000+08:00

Don't come closer
if you've intentions to leave

Don't say a word
if you'll end up lying

Don't promise me a heart
if you don't understand aim

Don't pretend you know
when you're just born yesterday

Don't act like you're sorry
when you don't even know pain

Don't preach like a Gandhi
when all you know is ABC

Don't come any closer
to my believing heart...

Resurrection

2010-08-20T14:55:00.001+08:00

It’s like the darkness before dawn
It’s like the labor before the birth

The same blood flows through our veins
The same spirit will burn through our heart

Falling introduce us to rising
Failing make us understand success

So cry till you could sob no more
Scream until your lungs give out

Remember this period of agony and pain
Revive today’s suffering and ache

Weep your last tears of sorrow
We’ll celebrate your glory tomorrow

For tomorrow comes a brand new day
From tomorrow comes a new phase

what do i tell my heart

2010-08-20T14:46:00.000+08:00

i'll mend my heart, but i will take time
just the way you break me; it was all in time

it took a while for the heart to fly
so when it breaks the healing won't rush

don't come to me to apologize
i won't understand, i won't see the light

i said before i wasn't gonna cry
but i didn't know i'd like you as mine

things will be just like before
that's what i'll believe that's what i'll pretend

now
what do i tell my heart
what do i tell my heart?

you left exactly the way you came
while i'm the one with everything to blame

i'll take the blame i'll conquer my shame
i'll accept my lost in this crazy game

deep down i loved you from the start
but i kept it low so no one would know

the day you left i let go and cried
i've got nothing hide and no one to hold

i don't understand anything at all
how could my summer feel so cold

and
what do i tell my heart?
what do i tell my heart?

i tell my mom i'll be strong and walk on
i'll swim the ocean i'll dive deep below

i tell my pop i don't care i won't cry
i'll keep myself strong and take all the blows

i tell my friends it don't hurt me at all
i'll laugh out so loud and go with the flow

i tell you i'm fine, got over it all
i'll make you believe my eyes really glow

but
what do i tell my heart?
what do i tell my heart?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wrote this sometime ago. but i lost it and this morning found it in my recycle bin. =)

Love is Blind

2010-08-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

They say love is blind

They didn't tell you love makes you blind

Yeah, that's about it.

I can't see anymore.

06-08-10

2010-08-05T11:11:00.001+08:00

i survived the 9 months pregnancy

and the hardship of the labor

what have you installed for me,

my God, my Lord, my Maker?

i wresled all my way through puberty

flirt with the right and wrong

the day they start to record my sin

i wonder why i was born

if i was born only to die

it doesn't make any sense

if i was born to sin then burn

that hardly sound so fair

if i was born to be a nur

i might as well just stay up there

and save myself from all the hardship

or knowing those i'll forget

i marvel at Your creations

and am thankful for the days i live

though sometimes i blame You on my bad days

You know me a whole lot better than that

but in days like this

when i think what my life had been

i wonder what You've installed for me

my God, my Lord, my Maker...

just don't

2010-08-05T11:07:00.002+08:00

don't talk about "us"

something that never was

don't talk about fate

it'll just generate hate

don't talk about the past

or things i wished would last

don't say it's no one's fault

when you're the one who bolt

and don't talk about love

when you fly away like a dove...

Caramel Coated Dagger

2010-08-05T10:32:00.002+08:00

imagine i'm a kid

eyes wide with innocence

receiving candy treat

of caramel coated dagger

the blade so thin so sharp

in sunlight it would glitter

but pose as simple carb

it hides impending danger

i lick with such delight

unaware of tragedy later

the seemingly sweet surprise

of caramel coated dagger

your secret miss caller

2010-08-04T20:52:00.001+08:00

the first time i saw you

my heart and i knew

we're intended to be forever

your inaudible laughter

the sway of your hand

from far i know we're meant together

within just one day

you're my everywhere

my call list, my speed dial, my wallpaper

you have no idea

how dim my life is

but somehow you make it much brighter

i try to tell you

how you make me feel

then make you like me a lil better

but each time i call

my blood rush, i feel woozy

and my thumb immediately press "end call"

i'm sure that by now

i might've annoyed you

i'll confess i'm your secret admirer

but my fund has run low

and my credit insufficient

so i'll miss call your mobile number

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*my horrible attempt of being in the other shoe. hehehee... this is a reply to "Annoy-imous Anonymous". A challenge by my dear friend, Hifzu Muniri. sorry it's not so good. cuz i SERIOUSLY don't understand why people do it. LOL!

Annoy-nymous Anonymous

2010-04-13T00:47:00.004+08:00

anonymous anonymous

you have no balls

you wake me up at night

with your stupid misscalls

anonymous anonymous

you're mentally sick

you dream i'd befriend you

when you bother me like this

anonymous anonymous

you live a sad life

you don't even know me

and want me as your wife

anonymous anonymous

call me again with your tel

i'll report you to the policemen

and sue you at your cell

my dirty poetry

2010-04-13T00:47:00.003+08:00

my dirty poetry

i'll worry 'bout the dangers in another session

for now let me enjoy in this selfmade detention

the moment everything pivot 'round its function

the minute i risk everything for a penchant;

my honour, my cover, my feelings, my mansion

from mixture of pleasure and pain comes this passion

the deed that i know i should never mention

which before its due time, i will not let happen

to wait and to wait till the very last second

as it inches it's way to the brink of all tension

i grip myself savouring the sensation

till the moment to comes, for that blinding explosion

tingling goosebumps all over my skin

success reeking in form of a wind

the sound of tsunami in this little WC

marks the end of my short but emotional journey.

---------

yeah, you guessed right. it's about "$#!+t!N9"

let me sleep

2010-04-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

let me sleep

let me wake in my blissful dream

let me be

let me drift in this hopeless stream

let me feel

let me touch this sweet poetry

let me dream

let me dream of us; you and me.

wistful

2010-04-13T00:42:00.001+08:00

i wish love is real

and promises are kept

kisses are seal

partners are meant

i wish hurt is a thing

you can choose not to have

like the coffee you drink

yet taking it decaf

i wish heart is a potion

you can buy at the store

and whenever it's broken

you can always buy more.

i wish you were nobody

just a face in the crowd

but i know you're somebody

who'd stolen my heart.

notbrokenhearted

2010-04-13T00:35:00.000+08:00

i'm not heartbroken

i'm just sad and blue

if you're in my position

you'd be mellow too

i'm not heartbroken

i'm feeling just fine

there's just something missing

something that was mine

i'm not heartbroken

i just want to choose

i'm a woman in love

just not in love with you

i'm not heartbroken

i just want to dwell

this place where love happened

once when i felt swell

i'm not heartbroken

i'm as happy as you

i'm wasting my time

i'm waiting for you

Abraham oh Abraham

2010-04-09T13:45:00.002+08:00

Abraham Oh Abraham

i grief for i've lost you today.

my son, my child, my male superstar,

the sun that brought light to my day.

Abraham oh Abraham

why do you have to leave so soon

i've yet seen you walk, i've yet heard you talk

i've yet smelled your baby parfume

Abraham oh Abraham

i know they've taken you away

i want you to know, and you must believe

Mommy here loves you everyday...

by:- Maha El Zawawi...

wet night

2010-04-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

tick tick pluk plop plop!
initial sound of falling raindrop

swish swosh sheees slosh slosh
promising a perching land a wet bath

hwhee hwhaaa sheee siii shaaa
the wind duels for a furious dance

zzzzzzzzzz brrrrrr mmmmmm and ahhh
the sound of people enjoying the war

Bukan Muslimah kamu

2010-03-22T16:46:00.000+08:00

Aku lalai hidup didunia
Tapi takut api neraka
Muslim sepertiku adakah disyurga?
Atau ahlinya sepertimu semuanya?

Mungkin cara aku dibesarkan
Mungkin ilmu yang kutelan
Mungkin fahaman yang didedahkan
Mungkin ini ketentuan Tuhan

Tidak bermakna aku tandus
Tidak bermakna aku sesat
Tidak bermakna aku kafir
Tidak bermakna aku dilaknat

Jangan kau fikir kau lebih tahu
Jangan kau fikir kau lebih arif
Hanya kerana selendang dibahu
Hanya kerana hadith dibibir

Ketulusan hati siapa yang tahu
Keikhlasan ibadah siapa yang lebih
Mungkin ibadah, kamu yang maju
Mungkin amalan, aku yang lebih

Jangan kerana tasbih dijari,
Kamu fikir kamu yang alim,
Kalau tiada keikhlasan hati,
Kamu seperti orang yang zalim

Mungkin aku bukan Khadijah
Wallahi aku bukan Aisyah
Tak bermakna aku tak cinta
Allah, Rasul dan agamaNya.

By: Maha El Zawawi

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ESPECIALLY dedicated those who has the "holier than thou" attitude...

a little space in heaven

2010-03-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

what i'm not allowed to touch,
i hold
what i'm not allowed to taste,
i devour
what i'm not aloowed to look,
i scrutinize
what i'm not allowed to say,
i lecture
what i'm not allowed to do,
i demontrate
where i'm not allowed to go
i tour

after all that's said and done
is there a place for me in heaven?

To the Wannabees

2010-03-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

i'm not Paris
i'm not Nicole,
Get off my back
leave me alone

i live my life
the way i know,
At least i'm real
don't need a clone

You suffocate
me and my style,
Before i break
go get a life

Thought you were hot
thought you were great,
Then i realize
you're just a fake

Scratch followers
i need a friend,
i'm no religion
And not a trend

The diff between
who's you who's me,
is, you're bogus
i'm AUTHENTIC.

Poppy Seed

2010-03-15T22:21:00.001+08:00

crosseyed breed
missing teeth
yet somehow
you still breathe

stinky mouth
hormone sprays
the balls on your south
i can't wait to spay

somedays meek
others a beast
always my McD
chicken you feast

there are times
i must be crazy
i find you so cute
and very cuddly

those are days
i regret i live
cuz right after that
you attack my feet.

rePurring Dream

2010-03-15T22:20:00.001+08:00

As you lay here next to me
Your body curled up, so serene
Your round eyes shut, your body still
I genuinely wonder what is it you dream?

Is it the meadows
so wide, so green?
Is it the shadows
dark and eerie?

Is it your dish bowl
so full of fish?
Or maybe the tom cat
or the others you meet?

Among the things
that you could dream,
Is there a moment
you dream of me?

~m@ha..
*****************************

Dedicated to the sleeping beauty of the house, Bushido.

can never forget

2010-03-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

i can never forget
the first time
the latte or the laughter
the heartbreak or the bicker
the sparkle in your eyes

i can never forget
the first time
my cheeks grow warm with color
my eyes so full of laughter
i still feel it deep inside

i can never forget
the first time
the melodies ring in my ears
the promises we hold dear
never thought i'd leave it behind

i can never forget
the first time
i see twinkles in your smile
could see you glow from a mile
feel the location of my heart

i can never forget
the first time
i see you walk from my life
thought that day would never arrive
but it did and that was goodbye

Sad eyes..

2010-03-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

Sad eyes
so full of sorrow
heartbeat
thumping oh so low
teardrops
threaten to fall
anytime...

So fast
you never turn to
explain why
what wrong did i do
till you go
i'm left to dwell
all alone

Enough
the punches you blow
so hard
while healing's so slow
too much
pain you cause my
brokenheart

Sad eyes
so full of sorrow
heartbeat
thumping oh so low
teardrops
threaten to fall
anytime...

Her

2010-03-10T01:09:00.000+08:00

eyes brightens right up
whenever she hears of you
laughing at your jokes
encouraging all your virtue

smiling obvious appreciations
pushing away disappointments
brows arching, highlighting admiration
irises glancing down hiding a thousand secrets

words unspoken unless it is right
faint tint of blush the moment you smile
lids fluttering away in delight
adoration written all over her eyes

gratification, simply because you're alive
simply for being the person you are
expecting nothing more and nothing less
loving just the fact that you exist

dedicates her life to keep you contented
struggles to swim to keep you afloat
cooks up reasons to keep you satisfied
nagging the things you won't say yourself

carefully constructed sentences
delivering flawless blows
clumsy awkward outbursts
revealing private utterance

she doesn't own you; not that she wants to
she doesn't need you; more than you need her
she just wants to know you; so she could improve herself
she just wants to be with you; because she prefers to

at times when she's being difficult
you know it's just a matter of time
before she'll run back to your arm
and become the angel you recognize

you may know her all your life
but somehow you still can't decipher
This mother, this sister or this wife,
is a mystery you'll solve -never.

~m@ha..

Happy Women's Day fellow species! ;-)

A personal flight

2010-03-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

From a flower
a beautiful red flower
shaken by the wind
and petals fall lose

A petal runs off on her own
dancing above the pool
glides across the lawn
a gust of wind blows her up again
flying in a frenzy flight across the park
sways away to finally settle
on the ground, of another garden.

To us it is just another petal.
To her it was an adventure.

Do'a

2010-02-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

Do'a
A prayer I make
Since the first drops of dew

The same
Different days
Still I ask for the truth

For you
No, there’s no name
I don’t have a clue

and now i know why

2010-02-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

my mama told me not to play with fire
but she never told me why
so i burned down the house
and now i know why

my daddy said don't ride motorcycles
he never explained why
so when i fell from my bicycle
i finally knew why

my grandpa told me not to lie
i always wondered why
the day i saw him busted out
i stopped wondering why

my grandma told me to get married early
she never told me why
today i met the man of man my dreams
and now i know why

To not think of tomorrow

2010-02-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

Like driving on the highway
With your eyes closed
Crossing a hanging bridge
With crocodiles below
Having a very quick nap
With something on the stove
Drinking a cup of hot tea
In Ramadhan nearing dawn
Entering a pitch black bedroom
With a soft uneven floor.

To not think of tomorrow
is unthinkable not even now...

familiar not the same...

2010-02-19T20:06:00.000+08:00

It’s different this time
I tell myself
time and time again
But it’s too similar
Reminds me of
the hurt and the pain

It’s all in the season
Just like the sun
Sunny Windy Rain…
It’s follows a pattern
Joy Love Sorrow
Must all end in pain?

When i fall in love

2010-02-19T19:56:00.000+08:00

When I fall in love
I jump with both feet
If drown, die; if strong, swim...

If you ask me to go...

2010-02-19T19:54:00.000+08:00

If you ask me to go, I’ll go
I’ll say okay, I won’t say no

I won’t ask why, I won’t deny
The right I gave from before

But if you’re kind you’ll tell me why
What I did wrong, when did you fly…

So at least when the pain is gone
I’ll know after this there’ll be dawn

It’s not as easy as you think
To erase all the memories

If feelings are just A B C
Forgetting would be 1 2 3

I promise I’ll walk away
The moment you let me go

But promise me we’ll try
Till there’s no more hope

Use all our yesterdays
Fill in our tomorrows

If feelings are just A B C
Forgetting would be 1 2 3

solitary

2010-02-19T12:03:00.001+08:00

it used to be me
it used to be you

then it's all about me
then it became us

it used to be us
then it's all about you

but now it's just you
and now it's just me...

if i could just...

2010-02-19T10:10:00.000+08:00

redo your love
undo my faults
refresh everything that made you fall in love

edit the fights
save all that's right
open the file from morning to night

copy your vows
paste in my heart
print it when i feel you're being far

download your mind
upload my thoughts
delete the moments that we spend apart

Oh Pebble Oh Pebble

2010-02-17T12:54:00.000+08:00

Oh Pebble oh Pebble...
Pebble by the sea...
where did you come from
i wonder where you've been

so smooth, such a beauty
sure enough you aged well,
which part of a rock
did you belong?

wrestled with the current,
spit from the ocean,
drifted the shore,
now out in the open

picked up by me
who made you a poem
by my adoration
introduced to others.

Oh pebble oh pebble
wherever did you come from?
which part of the rock
did you belong?

What it's about...

2010-02-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

What it's about...

It's about Death
It's about Life
It's about life that goes on after death

It's about Us
It's about Them
It's about them that made us forget us

It's about You
It's about Me
It's about me who lives on without you

It's about Then
It's about Now
It's about now that i leave what's then

It's about love
It's about Dream
It's about dream that inspires love

It's about You
It's about Me
It's about me who lives on without you

before i am no more....

2010-02-11T16:02:00.000+08:00

before i am no more....

before i am no more

I get stronger with each cry
the teardrops don't drown me no more

I get better with each rejection
the humiliation don't slow me no more

I heal faster with each punches
the blows don't hurt me no more

but I'll wait longer before the next leap
and I won't jump to conclusions no more.

I'll cry, I'll heal, I'll survive it all,
I'll fight my fight before i am no more...

the happening

2010-01-31T19:58:00.000+08:00

i felt it happening.
like dejavu.
i'm scared.
memories of yesterdays
flash before me.
so vivid.
i could feel the tears rolling down.
i touch my cheek.
wet.
it's happening.
hell's door opens again.
my fear is eating me from inside.
i'm letting myself down.
i'm building the wall.
crawling into my selfmade cacoon.
shutting everyone out.
a bitter end seems more concrete
than happy promises.
i love you most but this time around
i should know better.

it's finally happening.
the breaking of the bridge.
the end of our history.
as i weep and let it happen.

57-8-09

2009-08-31T13:55:00.001+08:00

Kasih
itu yang ku rasa
bila memberitahu
asal usulku

Sayang
itu yang ku rasa
bila ku menulis
alamat rumahku

Bangga
itu yang ku rasa
bila ku baca
sejarah negaraku

Masa berlalu...
Masa berlalu...

Biru
Kemana pergi peryatuan itu?
Kuning
Apakah kuasa pemerintah itu?
Merah
Gunanya untuk menentang apa?
Putih
Hilangkah semua yang kita banggakan?

Tanah ini warnanya sama
Air ini dalamnya sama
Hijau daun baunya sama
Panas hujan suhunya sama

Hanya kita kini berbeza
Benci dan dendam semakin terasa
Warna dan bahasa menjadi ukuran
Semangat bangsa disuku-sukukan

Kembalikan kasihku
Kembalikan sayangku
Kembalikan banggaku
Seperti masa yang lalu

*Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan*

melting blue

2009-08-31T13:52:00.002+08:00

ring a ding ding
sings the ice cream man
selling ice cream red green blue

scoop a dup dup
i bought 2 scoops
one for me and the other for you

shame a lame lame
you didn't take it
it's not your right shade of blue

kay it's okay
i must give it away
can't let it melt on my shoes

hey hey hey hey
isn't that Hussein
maybe he wants ice cream too

yeay yeay yeay yeay
everyone's feeling gay
everyone but you

eh eh eh eh
why are you sad?
thought it's not your shade of blue..?

Goodbye

2009-08-31T13:52:00.001+08:00

Goodbye.
To someone who couldn’t appreciate the years
Years that included joys and tears
To someone who betrayed all my trust
Trust that was built with love not lust
To someone who breaches our thoughtful agreements
Agreements made to avoid arguments
To someone who made me crawl through hell
Hell of love in which I once fell
To someone who twisted his words and lied
Just so you know, the love flame has died…

Dedicated to Azura Liyana.
I love you sweetheart. Stay strong. *hugs*

Whatever i call "IT".

2009-08-31T13:50:00.002+08:00

Whatever i call "IT".

it's the way your eyes talk where your lips don't dare venture.
it's the way you steal the moment to make our skin touch.
it's the way you want me to translate the very bits of your movements.
it's the way we understand each other.
it's the way you respect our privacy.

it's the private moments we have to tell each other off
it's the underlying joke only we both find funny
it's the way we're uncomfortable being exposed in the open.
it's the possessiveness, protectiveness you feel towards me.
it's the silent jealousy i feel when you're not with me.

it's the blurry line of our status.
it's the coy ways we avoid the teases.
it's the freedom no pressure
it's the promise of giddiness.
it's the secret that we share.

but only once i want you to say it.
only once i want it to be obvious.
only once i want out in the open.
only once i need the confirmation.
only once let's make it permanent.

that's the beauty of whatever you call it.

~*(>.<)*~

take me there

2009-08-31T13:50:00.001+08:00

when my voice takes over your ringtone
when my touch takes over your alarm
when my kisses takes over your sorrows
when my future takes over your past

when your anger becomes my fear
when your problems becomes my own
when your happiness becomes my achiements
when your future becomes my home

when we call the dreams our dreams
when we name the kids our own
when we sacrifice for our lives
when we finally reach our goal.

killed and murdered.

2009-08-31T13:49:00.001+08:00

i walked away
but you left me first
You were my best support
but i've always had your back

i made you weep
but you made me cry
i breached the the pact
but you broke the promise

i always listened
but you only heard
whatever i saw
you only looked

Now you accuse me
Of blaming you
For not being able to commit
To something you could do

i killed you, yes
only after you murdered me...

i'm here...no where

2009-08-31T13:48:00.000+08:00

when you asked
if you have lost me
you got me speechless baby
i'm standing here
can't you see?

when you walk and wondered
where the 'ell could i be
stop walking and turn around
i'm still standing here

can't you see?
i have never walked away
i moved yes i did
but i'm still here dear

close your eyes
reach your hands out
and you will find
my hands still holding on

but i can't walk with you now
run with you now
sail with you now
after you left me here

i can't fly with you now
climb with you now
skip with you now
i just don't know how

when again one day
you want to ask yourself
where the 'ell could i be
look into the mirror and smile
and you will find me...

Whatever i call "IT".

2009-05-19T20:25:00.000+08:00

it's the way your eyes talk where your lips don't dare venture.
it's the way you steal the moment to make our skin touch.
it's the way you want me to translate the very bits of your movements.
it's the way we understand each other.
it's the way you respect our privacy.

it's the private moments we have to tell each other off
it's the underlying joke only we both find funny
it's the way we're uncomfortable being exposed in the open.
it's the possessiveness, protectiveness you feel towards me.
it's the silent jealousy i feel when you're not with me.

it's the blurry line of our status.
it's the coy ways we avoid the teases.
it's the freedom no pressure
it's the promise of giddiness.
it's the secret that we share.

but only once i want you to say it.
only once i want it to be obvious.
only once i want out in the open.
only once i need the confirmation.
only once let's make it permanent.

that's the beauty of whatever you call it.

~*(>.<)*~

Salahkah Aku?

2009-05-19T20:24:00.000+08:00

salahkah ku jika aku kini berubah
salahkah aku bila satu hari ku jatuh cinta
salahkah aku mencoba buatmu bahagia
salahkah aku bila ku menjadi manusia?

salahkah aku menuruti katamu
salahkah aku menjalani hidupku
salahkah aku bila fahammu ku pinta
salahkah aku miliki salah manusia

terkadang aku terfikir apakah diriku
harus menjadi sempurna buat kalian semua
mengapa salahku menjadi perhatian semua
bila aku tidak pernah menilai sesiapa

salahkah aku bila waktu hidup kita berbeda
salahkah diriku bila yang ini yang kusuka
salahkah diriku bila bukan kamu yang kupuja
salahkah diriku bila bagimu aku tidak sempurna

The End of the Yellow Brick Road?!

2009-05-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

It looks so simple.
It feels so simple.
To break a bridge we build so long.

It’s just a gesture.
Or lack of gesture.
To end a beautifully written song.

It’s not a secret.
No hidden secrets.
To be uncovered to save this all.

It looks so simple.
I guess it’s simple.
To be erased from someone’s thoughts.

cuz i'm a girl

2009-04-17T00:27:00.000+08:00

teliti.... setiap kata yang ku ucap padamu
ikuti.... bahasa isyarat ku tuju padamu
mengertilah.. ku wanita.. yang kaya perasaan malu

(jadi mulakan dulu ucapan cintamu kepadaku)

sepuluh ayat cinta yang ku luahkan
seribu karangan yang aku sembunyikan... darimu
kerna ku malu

seratus amarah yang t'lah ku lontarkan
hanya satu yang aku benar-benar ku maksudkan.. itu pun
kerna ku mahu

kau pujuk aku, sayangi aku..

doaku.... penuh dengan sulaman namamu
pundakku.... selalu memikirkan dirimu
hargailah.. perasaanku.. yang terlalu.. mencintaimu

(tapi mulakan dulu ucapan cintamu kepadaku)

A Different Song

2009-02-06T20:57:00.000+08:00

Is this our idea of happily ever after?
Living separate lives away from each other?
Truth be told i never gave it much thought
Always figured we'll be stuck till we rot

We were bestfriend not ever lovers
We were a team; winners or losers
But now we're fighting in different courts
And different players we have both sought

"Have i changed or have you?" no longer matter
It takes a lot to say "Friendship Forever"
Used to sign letters with "Forget Me Not"
Now it's more than birthdays we both forgot

Time has finally shown its true power
We finally gave in age was a factor
I'm sorry you chose to put us to a stop
But still i promise, in my list you're always on top.

Duhai Malam

2008-09-07T00:16:00.001+08:00

Duhai malam. Jangan datang terlalu awal
Kehadiranmu mengundang kesedihan dalam hidupku
Mengingatkan ku bahawa aku bersendiri

Tiada teman menunggu sinar mentari
Tiada belaian mengusap hingga ku terlelap
Tiada suara membisikkan selamat tidur
Tiada penafian yang aku sebenarnya... sendiri...

Duhai malam. Jangan disini terlalu lama
Kehadiranmu membawa derita dan air mata
kesuraman yang terlalu dingin. Dingin sekali

Doa Si Tunggal

2008-09-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

Ya tuhan,
Hatiku hancur sekali dibuatnya.
Tapi aku bisa bangkit
Aku sudah bangkit.

Kenangan bersamanya
Kini seperti mimpi yang terhenti
Cintaku padanya
Tidak mahu ku sambung lagi...
Percuma... Percuma...

Aku tenang sekarang...
Jangan temukan aku dengan dia lagi
Jika hanya untuk membangkitkan
Perasan yang semu...

Sayonara

2008-04-03T07:40:00.000+08:00

Adieu, it's far too late.
i slowly recall our last date.
it was the month of December.
we were both having supper.
"it's already the end"
you finally said.
"i'll leave at dusk
the following Sunday".
i wished you farewell.
you whispered goodbye.
it was the final night
of you and i.

a humble confession

2008-02-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

a humble confession

i smart
i can do anything
i not lazy
i no have time

i no scared
i talk truth
i no need to prove
no reason to

what he do
i also know
he just show off
i very humble

he stupidshe lazy
they don't know
all so slow

i can do this now
but i don't want yet
i just wake up from sleep
i very tired

no one take me work
because they afraid of me
because i smarter
because i best.

summary

2007-10-25T13:12:00.000+08:00

so what i fell in love, broke my heart and nearly committed suicide?!
i didn't die..
so, life goes on...

Just Another Love Letter.

2007-09-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

Dear X,
Hello my love, how do you do? How is life treating you? Good? I sure hope so. How’s your mother? Being a strong lady that she is, I’m sure she’s doing fine. And so is your father.
How is your work? Are you still working extra hard on everything? I bet you are. You know dear, sometimes, if you rest a bit, you might get more work done.
My love, it has been a year now since you left. And I am still in shock. Shock of the sudden twist of fate. The bitter ending of our sweet fairytale. Since that day, the world turned its back on me. I no longer see rainbows painting the sky. I can no longer feel the warm heat of the sun. I no longer hear the bells of the ice cream man. I could no longer taste the sweetness of the strawberries. I died the day you went away. How about you? Does life treat you as cruel as it treats me? Does it? Does it?
I wish I could tell you that I am doing fine. I wish I could tell you that I’m happier now than I ever was with you. I wish I could tell you that life is great without you. I wish I could show off a hunky replacement on my arm. Of course I could still tell you that. But then that would be a lie. And I can’t lie. I never could and I won’t start now. Eventhough the truth makes me sound so pathetic. Eventhough the truth makes me feel so sick. Eventhough the truth means accepting that you have left me.
Oh my love, I didn’t bother to stop you when you left. I am not going to stop you now. It’s not because I don’t love you. But it’s because I love you. There is no reason for me to keep you if you don’t feel the same. I can’t imprison you like that. No matter how much I love you. And I do love you. I loved you, I love you and I will love you forever.
I met you and I met love. I realize that love is not a feeling. Love is a cancer. It grows. It grows all the time. Unless it is removed by force, it will stay with you forever. But even when it is removed, it might always come back. It either kills you, or makes you stronger. There is not such thing as falling out of love. If one feels love, then suddenly realize that they don’t love anymore, then that was not love. That was infatuation, or obsession but it’s not love. No one can escape love once it has touched you. It could be kept away, but not thrown away. So realization hit me, you never love me. Because you won’t leave me if you do. But you did.
I don’t hate you. I can’t even begin to hate you. When everyone around me blames you for my heartache, I can only think of the happiness you brought me. I tried to hate you to make life easier for me. But it wouldn’t work that way. The more I find your fault, the more I love your flaws.
My dear, my love, my life, I still don’t know why I’m writing this. Even when I’m done, I’m not sure if I’ll be sending it. But I know I want this out, out of my chest. Will you read it? Will you read till the end? I don’t know. But I want you to know. And I guess I what I want is for you to tell me that you still love me. I want you to tell me that you want me back. I want you to woo me the way you once did. I want you to tell me leaving me was a mistake. THAT’S what i want. That’s WHAT i want. That’s what I want. That’s what i WANT. That would be what I want for ME. But everyday I pray for YOUR happiness. Even when your happiness means life without me, I’ll still pray for your happiness. Because loving you doesn’t need you to love me.

With Love,
K.

One Year

2007-08-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

One year of bliss, one year of life, one year of heaven...
I lived for a year. For one year, I lived the way I wanted to live. My dream life. I couldn’t ask for more. If I die now, I ought to go to hell. I guess I’m just not strong... not patient enough to wait for heaven. I am after all, the off-spring of Adam and Eve..

loser's try

2006-02-06T17:21:00.000+08:00

how selfish had i been
always thinking about me
feeling cheated and fooled by him
playing victim and crying myself to sleep

he too had suffered tremendously
wanting to avoid me where i stood waiting
he faced me and smiled when all he wanted was to flee
i only thought of myself when the real victim was he

maybe i should disappear from his eyes
it might be what he wants, one i should deliver
rather than parading distastefully for his attention
while getting snide remarks from his friends

maybe it's about time that i go on with life
bringing with me all pride that is left
at least nobody knows the hurt that's inside
even if time doesn't heal, i'll still keep my smile.

greed

2005-03-21T18:19:00.000+08:00

my lord i am hungry
give me some bread
with butter and honey

my lord i am thirsty
give me some wine
two ice cubes in it

my lord i am lonely
give me a husband
with gold and music

my lord i am filthy
give me a bath tub
bubbles filled to the brim

my lord i am dying
take me to heaven
with my belongings all behind me

wtf?!

2005-03-21T18:17:00.000+08:00

would it give you happiness to see me die
for if it would i'll go after i cry
our memories you've kissed goodbye
our history you said was a lie

what have i done to deserve all this pain
have i my dear dreamed our love in vain
without you my love i shall not be sane
i can't travel alone in this torturous lane

i remember your oath not so long ago
you're born to protect me to love me so and so
if you were a fawn i was your only doe
to heaven our destiny together we shall go

but where are you now my moon and my night
it's has been so long i feel this sunlight
shall i sleep? no... the day's too bright
so i will still wait for thee, my prince, my knight

come... go away

2005-03-21T18:16:00.000+08:00

Whenever I see you I can't look away
My eyes just refuse and my smile just won't fade
When you are around I might not look your way
But deep in my heart all I see is your face

I think day and night I wonder if you're gay
And asked all around hoping you'd feel the same
If one day we meet I don't know what to say
But now I'm enjoying the flow of this game

Wish I could see you every time everyday
Ignoring me, never seem to give a damn
And it would be better if you feel that way
But sir please don't bother though this might sound lame

Just be cool just walk away
Run free just be wild, for me don't be tame
Cuz when that moment comes someday
I've already move on my feelings won't be the same

My Choice

2005-03-21T18:14:00.000+08:00

Whenever I am all alone,
I try to distract myself from thinking of you.
It is difficult because I know too well
That I WANT to think of you

When I see lovers passes by,
I wonder how much longer I should be alone,
And I get so emotional, blaming you
Though I know it’s my fault.

You never asked to wait for you
You never promised me anything.
I was the one wanting
I was the one who wanted to believe

Man of the Night

2005-03-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

Why can't our love be like the rest?
Why can't we walk just hand in hand?
How long must we endure this stressful test?
Will this trial ever end?

We meet at night then part at dawn
You make me weak still wanting more
Don't understand what's going on
Only with you my spirits soar

Oh nameless spirit of the night
Let me see you in brad daylight
Open you arms then hold me tight
Take me away make everything alright

Meaning of our Love

2004-12-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

Date: 13th December, 2004
Meaning of our love

What am I doing?
I've got it all wrong
It's bad of me to blame you
When you didn't do anything wrong.

As I see lovers pass me, I was jealous
It's not fair they're together but not us
Now I know their love is not even half as strong
They can't even stand a few miles distance

True love is when you believe in each other
It doesn't matter what the eyes can't see
Because this time eyes doesn't play any part
It is now the matter of the heart

Although we don't see each other very much
I can feel your love for me from this far
And I know you know how strong I feel for you
We have passed this test of love

I can't see you as much as I really want to
I don't know how you're doing without me
But I've learned to compromise with myself
Thinking of you is enough for now

You touch sure leaves me wanting more
Your kisses linger on till break of dawn
Your warmth covers me all night long
But I'm ready to face another day

I have grown so much from yesterday
I have known to love unconditionally
Maturity has nothing to do with us
I'm your baby, that's for sure

Though you can't be with me now
I've told myself that it is okay
Distance makes my heart goes wonder
Not to mention fonder

I've come to understand the meaning of our love
It may not be what everyone else is feeling
But I'm sure it is better and more worth it
Obstacles make life richer, right?

Now I'm walking through this tunnel alone
But I know you're waiting there at the end
To start a new meaningful beginning
Together let's dazzle the world

Hurt

2004-11-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

People change… feelings too…
You’ve changed and I did too..
you said you’ve never loved anyone
the way you loved me
flowery and happy I asked you why
but you couldn’t answer me

I’ll tell you why
It’s simply because you never loved me
You just want to have me But you never loved me.
How can you love me when you’re loving someone else?

I told you I never loved you more
Never more than a friend.
I’m sorry… sorry I lied
I do love you… more than that.

Why? Why I told you the lie?
Cuz I never want to hurt you
I didn’t know if I could ever treat you right.
That’s why… That’s why I lied

But I guess you don’t feel the same.
Though you said you love me.
Though you said you care.
Now I know it’s made up stories.

Remember once I said,
“you could never hurt me as much as I’ve hurt you?”
well… I suppose that’s a lie too cause
last night I was broken to pieces
knowing I never did hurt you..

AND-U

2004-10-17T17:27:00.000+08:00

AND-U

Darling, now it’s not funny anymore
Please… come back… I miss you

Yes I was angry when you first came
And the truth is I still am
But you have to understand
The reason is because I love you so much

I still stick to my words.
I regret dreaming of you the first time
Because my life before you was filled with fun
Now with you I’m longing for you all the time

I smile when the sun starts to set
Then crushed when The Eye gives its morning ray
I’m suddenly conscious of my weight
I only want to look good so you won’t go away

I used to make all those rules when it comes to men
Only to break it the moment I met you
I want to give you everything I can
Everything you want, just tell me I’m made for you…

My Mistake

2004-10-16T17:25:00.000+08:00

My Mistake
I fell for you
The first time I saw you
Only God knows how deep it was
Your talk, your walk
Your sense of style
Deeper I fell every minute, every hour

Maybe it was obvious,
Someone must have told you
Cause one day you confronted me
And asked me if it was true
That my feelings for you
Grows every breath I take

Of course it was true
If you want, to you I can prove
But that is not what I said
I just laughed it off
Saying there must be some mistake
Still, it was the best mistake of my life…

Without you

2004-10-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

Without You...
Why do I cry when I think of you?
But at the same time I’m smiling too
I must be mad, crazy and it’s all because of you
In a way do you feel it too?

Why do you come so kindly at night?
But cruel enough to leave comes dawn
You make me weak I can’t stand
On my own anymore
I just need you with me to be strong

So please don’t leave…
I need you here with me not in my mind
Without you I can’t breathe
I can do nothing but I
I’m not a fool
You killed me turned me into someone new
Now I can’t help it I can’t live my life…
Without you by my side I can’t go living all my life
Without you by my side…

Tell Me

2004-10-16T17:17:00.000+08:00

Don’t you know it hurts when I
Wake up in the morn and I
Don’t find you right by my side
Not holding me like last night

It’s a dream yes I know it was
But can’t you let me dream a little longer
At least ‘til I’m satisfied

Tell me again and again how much you love me
I won’t speak I want you to do the talking

How can I make it that I don’t only see you when I sleep
Why do you only come in my dreams?
Should I start looking? Could you recognize me?
Is it a sign? That you’re the one?
I will continue to wait forever
If you tell me your search is over

My very first haiku

2004-10-16T17:16:00.000+08:00

Saturday, October 16, 2004
My Very First Haiku...
Short lived flowers –haiku

Even perfect buds
Die at the end of the day
So should we bother?

Loving you

2004-10-14T20:24:00.000+08:00

i've always been in love with you
for as long as i could remember
and i've kept this feeling so true
someday i wish we could be together
cause i want you to be the one i run to
when my heart is flaming with desire

but wishes are in false and dreams are in vain
and i have become a good liar
i hide my tears in the falling rain
my laughters just pitch higher
i don't know how much longer i can entertain
before you replace me for another

cause i'm only human and i make mistake
but loving you is all i want to do forever...

To Whom It May Concern

2004-10-14T20:15:00.000+08:00

To Whom It May Concern...
I guess…
I guess you didn’t expect me to figure out…
I guess you thought I should be kept in the dark…
I guess you’ve done this all the time…

I’m stupid…
I’m stupid to trust you…
I’m stupid cause I thought I was special…
I’m stupid for believing someone would love me…

I wish…
I wish I could tell you that I don’t care…
I wish I could see this coming…
I wish the day we met, I was never there…

It’s funny…
It’s funny cause I shouldn’t care…
It’s funny cause I shouldn’t feel down…
It’s funny cause I thought I won but I actually didn’t…

I’m sorry…
I’m sorry I didn’t hurt you…
I’m sorry I showed I don’t give a damn…
I’m sorry I let myself get hurt by you…

It hurts…
It hurts cause I do love you…
It hurts cause I do care…
It hurts cause of all people I didn’t expect to be hurt by you…

Thank you…
Thank you for telling me you love me…
Thank you for acting like you care…
Thank you for making me feel wanted, loved and cared…

Love…
Love means nothing more to me…
Love is no more something I wish to receive…
Love is just an ordinary word in the dictionary…

I guess… I’m Stupid,
I wish… It’s Funny,
I’m Sorry… It Hurts
Thank you… Love…

Thank you. for making me feel Sorry.
First it was Funny. Now I Guess. It was all Stupid.
i Wish. it Hurts. no one else after me. this thing called Love.

Hurt

2004-10-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

How could you?!

2004-10-14T17:29:00.000+08:00

How could I be so stupid?
I actually trust you?
I kept being played by people like you.

All this time I felt guilty and it was all for nothing.
You were not feeling any of those hurt feelings you said.
Lonely?! That is ONE word you’ll never feel.
I guess that’s your motivation.

You played with my feelings.
And I felt so guilty for not accepting you?
When I said you couldn’t be trusted you said I was insensitive?!
I guess you should have said that I was right.

I don’t know what to believe anymore.
I used to think I was so lucky to have someone like you in my life.
But now, knowing it was all a lie, I guess I don’t know you anymore.

I thought you were lonely but still you were loyal
I thought you really loved me.
Now I’m not even sure if you even ‘like’ me.

Sure, I like you. No that’s too soft.I actually LOVED you.
Notice the past tense?!Yup! I mean it.
I wish I could continue loving you but
Since I don’t know you anymore, how could I?

You were someone I cherished.
Really!I thought you were different.
But you were just like the rest.
In fact, I actually hate people like you.

HOW COULD YOU!!!
You turn me into someone I would hate.
Nobody likes a third person in their relationship.
Not knowing the truth, you gave me the title.

don't say goodbye...

2004-10-14T17:24:00.000+08:00

I dreamed of you
I wonder why
When I woke up
I wanted to cry
Then I realized
My throat was dry
I thirst for you
Please don’t say good bye...

Without you

2004-10-14T17:18:00.000+08:00

An-dew-t

2004-10-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

All my life I’ve been praying for the one
I want to love him with all my heart
In return I want to be the love of his life
And no one can ever tear us apart.

Now I met you I hope that you’re the one
I’m loving you with all my heart
Do you love me as much?
I don’t want him to be someone else

Please be the answer to my prayers
Let us lead a wonderful life together
Please love me and pay me back
The years that I’ve waited for you

A fool’s paradise they say
Let us be fools and stay there forever
A place where you only cry happy tears
And you only break up to make up

I really want you to be the one
I’ve closed my heart to everyone else
The keys are already in your hand
Whether you open or not I’ll still wait

Those nights I met you
Is it some kind of a sign?
I’d like to think of it as true
Cuz I really want him to be you.

Wira

2004-10-13T17:19:00.000+08:00

Years go by so slowly and
Months just change from Jan to Dec
Days are gone one by one then
Hours passed not noticed still…

No one can take your place in our hearts
You were our love, our joy and sorrow
No one can put away our love
In our hearts, there is only one you…

You’re just too special too kind too loving yet too cruel…

The Duet

2004-10-10T17:22:00.000+08:00

the duet...
: Why? Why are you feeling so sad?
: Because… he never loved me.
: So? Thought you didn’t want him too.
: True…
: Then why are you still blue?
: I don’t know…
: Don’t know or don’t want to know?
: I guess… suddenly I feel lonely
: Wasn’t he the lonely one?
: He was never lonely.
: But didn’t he say…?
: He lied
: Are you okay?
: I honestly don’t know.
: Were you in love with him?
: I don’t remember.
: Did you love him?
: I did.
: But you were not in love?
: I really liked him but…
: But?
: But I wasn’t ready to sacrifice for him.
: Why?
: Something kept stopping me.
: What?
: I don’t know… sixth sense maybe..
: Sixth Sense?! Are you kidding?
: No. I’m serious.
: Sorry. Does he know now?
: No. I promised I won’t tell him.
: Promised who?
: Someone…
: Do you want him to know?
: I do. I want him to know that I know.
: Then why don’t you just tell him?
: Because of the promise!
: Why don’t you break it?
: It would hurt.
: Who?
: Her.
: Didn’t she hurt you?
: She didn’t mean to.
: Did he?
: Yes.
: What do you plan to do?
: If I could I want to break everything.
: Everything?
: Every connection with him.
: Why?
: I’m too hurt. But most of all…
: Most of all?
: I’m hurt cause he lied.

tit 4 tat

2004-10-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

tit 4 tat
I was always there for you
I know what’s good for you
I say things needed by you
I did everything for you

I followed everything you said
I played the games you played
But when the day comes to end
You’re still not my man

Boy I want to know
Which part I did wrong
Tell me what they have
That I have not got

I could be your only one
Your shining star
Your day and your night
I’m already everything you need
Your left and your right
But you’re just too blind to see

Alas, that was then this is now
I’m no longer your door mat
Guys fall for me girls want to be me
Here you come crawling back at me
Saying we’re meant to be
Huh?! What?! Are you kidding?!
Real life isn't like the movies...

Don't you know?

2004-10-09T17:22:00.000+08:00

Don't you know?
Don’t you know it hurts?
To see how much you love me
It hurts because I don’t feel the same
It hurts because I know you deserve better.
It hurt because I can’t return your feelings for me.

Do you know I cry at night?
Nights when I can’t sleep
When I realize how pure your love is
When I realize I’ll never find anyone else as true
When I realize I’m as lonely as you are

Do you know how I hate it?
The many ways you treat me
The way you look at me adoringly
The way you make me your priority
The way you make me feel special

You’re nothing but perfect
You’re everything I want
You’re everything I need
With you its not lust
It’s more than a crush
Don’t tell me what it is
Or you will see me run away…

My Paradise

2004-09-09T20:18:00.000+08:00

I don’t remember how or what happened
I just remember waking up and
Realizing how deep I’ve fallen for you.

But really… who are you?
I don’t even know your name…
Where do you come from?
Perhaps from the far back of my head…

I realize that you’re the visual part of my fantasy
You’re my dream which hasn’t yet cometh true
The perfect one for me, one only I can see
The one, the he, the him, the you…

But how come is it that to me… it seems
Like you have a mind of your own
Though you satisfy me in your reactions
But to you I don’t seem to have the control

Didn’t I create you?
When did you turn me into your own?
Perhaps you too have a life of your own.
Living among other human in reality?

Is it possible that you’re not my dream?
That it is a glimpse of the future?
An unknown future of you and me
Then perhaps we could meet?

This is not making sense anymore…
You leave me worn out in the morning
Then come back at night to tire me more
I can’t let you control me like this…

I’m the master of this game
I started it… so I should end it…
But how can I end something well
When I know my life depends on it?

Where are you?

2004-08-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

i've been dreaming of you all my life
i know you are meant for me
you fit all criteria to make you mine
with you i will be complete

when i am queen then you're the king
together we rule succesfully
if you are Ken, then i'm Barbiee
very story a happy ending

but now i've grown since yesterday
i wonder if you exist
cuz i've been waiting for so long in vain
i've never seen you -not once, really

should i still wait for 'that' day
or should i now, just take my leave
cuz if you won't come, then i can't wait
someone else might be waiting for me

Because of You

2004-08-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

i dunno why
i fell in love with you...
when i look at the sky
the only thing i see is you...
even i when i am high
i know my feeling is true...
i don't have to lie
with you i never feel blue...
because i need you

all you do is tease
you never tried to win my heart...
but baby don't stop please
cause i've fallen for you so hard...
to you am i just like the trees
or do you see me as an art...
baby, just give me a kiss
and tell me we will never part
because i love you...

Hey there...

2004-07-07T20:25:00.000+08:00

i don't know why...
but now you're on my mind...
right now you're in my head...
can't seem to get you out...

hey, i don't even know your name...
but i'm just too attracted to you...
thinking of you feeling for you...
i'm feeling for you now...

just tell me who you are
ask me what's my name
tell me you're in love with me
ask if i feel the same

so i can let you down...

*~Maha & Poetry~*

Cahaya Pantai

Doa

When things are better from afar

The cries of a young beggar

The Point

Your Point

Remember Me, Remember Me

My name is Special

Blink, Just Once

in-sane

Don't Promise Me a Heart

Resurrection

what do i tell my heart

Love is Blind

06-08-10

just don't

Caramel Coated Dagger

your secret miss caller

Annoy-nymous Anonymous

my dirty poetry

let me sleep

wistful

notbrokenhearted

Abraham oh Abraham

wet night

Bukan Muslimah kamu

a little space in heaven

To the Wannabees

Poppy Seed

rePurring Dream

can never forget

Sad eyes..

Her

A personal flight

Do'a

and now i know why

To not think of tomorrow

familiar not the same...

When i fall in love

If you ask me to go...

solitary

if i could just...

Oh Pebble Oh Pebble

What it's about...

before i am no more....

the happening

57-8-09

melting blue

Goodbye

Whatever i call "IT".

take me there

killed and murdered.

i'm here...no where

Whatever i call "IT".

Salahkah Aku?

The End of the Yellow Brick Road?!

cuz i'm a girl

A Different Song

Duhai Malam

Doa Si Tunggal

Sayonara

a humble confession

summary

Just Another Love Letter.

One Year

loser's try

greed

wtf?!

come... go away

My Choice

Man of the Night

Meaning of our Love

Hurt

AND-U

My Mistake

Without you

Tell Me

My very first haiku

Loving you

~Maha & Poetry~